Awakening

I can hear them yelling from afar, but I am not listening. I try not to think of the upcoming struggle, as I always try to. I rarely succeed. They will think this is just another skirmish, and in a way they will be right, as that is exactly what it will be.
To us.

I hear the gate vanish and I open my eyes. After wandering in the barren wastelands, seeing the shiny golden walls is a slight relief. My senses start to tingle as my body prepares itself, and as we charge, my conciousness connects. They are mostly mages. I know there is no doubt they will try to fell us one by one. They yell again. We break our silence and with that, our phantom-like approach. It is not like we have something to discuss. It is merely a part of the distraction. Elements and metal clash next to me. I hear screams of agony as the pain surges through her body simultanously with the arcane healing. Even from where I am, the smell is bad. I let my mind slip away into nothingness to prepare again.
We retaliate uncoordinated and it is hardly a threat at all. As I finish my part, I catch a glimpse of one of their healers not even breaking a sweat. I know not how long this fight goes on, time is not a concept where my soul is. Ten seconds? Two minutes? I am told it is somewhere in between. I care not. Anticipation makes it seem like eternity regardlessly. Something inside tells me to keep focus on the situation at hand. That something is correct, as I notice the spirit is being summoned. The spirit. The source of my restlessness, the source of my nightmares, the source of my pain. It is ironic then that I run towards it, but I know the consequences of not doing so - and the consequences are even more painful.

"Go, now!"

We transfer the very essence of our lives as our foes halt their assault for a split second, puzzled by what is happening. I lose the feeling in my limbs first, then in my whole body, and as I am on the verge of death, everyone is screaming. Pleased with our sacrifices, the spirit has echoed our pain to every living person around. Despite the pain of a such sacrifice, it is the moment afterwards that haunts me. The moment where our enemies stumble and fall. The moment our souls prepare to leave our bodies.

But I know better than that, for I know that my soul is being tricked. I know that one of us still stands tall - his mind, body and soul superhumanly vigorous from our incantation. It is like an indestructible aura. As I fall towards the ground, he is already doing his part. It is not really hard when there is no one capable of stopping him - they may want to, but the painful surge running through their bodies will not allow them to do so. I know it as well. It is like a hundred thousand needles all piercing your heart at once. That aura diverts every one of those needles away from him. The timing is flawless. Before I even hit the ground, the divine spell pulls me up on my feet, connecting my mind to my body before my soul roams free. We are all whole again, and yet this moment is the worst. After so much pain, I cannot think of anything worse than what I know is expected of me. My head is telling me not to do it. I do not want to do it either. I just want to run away and hide. But you can not run away from trouble - there is no place that far. I do what I have to do, and with what little strength I have left, I take my life a second time, starting a chain reaction that drives the brutal spirit into a killing frenzy.
This time I am on the ground for a few seconds before being pulled back to life again. The spirit may have slain our foes once, but we were slain twice - and yet we are the ones standing in the end. We pray for the gods to take good care of our foes before moving on. I let my thoughts wander again as time passes. Perhaps this time I will have time to heal my wounds.

...

I can hear them yelling from afar, but I am not listening. I try not to think of the upcoming struggle, as I always try to. For once, I succeed. They will think this is just another skirmish, and in a way they will be right, as that is exactly what it will be.
To us...